Kevin Hinman - "A Million of Me and So Very few of You"
“A Million of Me and So Very Few of You” arose from trying to pin down a peculiar feeling I was experiencing after the break-up of a long-term relationship, that there was just too much of me around. My identity seemed to me a construct of counterpoint. How I related to other people in my immediate circle and larger environment allowed me to define who I was as an individual. Now isolated, my jumbled thoughts and feelings about this other individual had nowhere to go but inward. That old quote, “wherever you go, there you are” presented itself as some sort of cruel joke of which I was continuously the punchline.
The story also explores my interest in how individuals ascribe meaning to changes they can’t understand in order to maintain a semblance of uniformity of narrative. We don’t like puzzle pieces that don’t fit, so an inexplicable fish dream or the radical redesign of a cartoon cat (seriously, check out those bizarre early Garfield strips) suddenly take on a poignancy that allows us to connect these outliers to elements in our lives that we do understand, stripping them of their unfamiliarity and giving us comfort. All writing is like this in a way, at least to me. And lately, who else is there?
The story also explores my interest in how individuals ascribe meaning to changes they can’t understand in order to maintain a semblance of uniformity of narrative. We don’t like puzzle pieces that don’t fit, so an inexplicable fish dream or the radical redesign of a cartoon cat (seriously, check out those bizarre early Garfield strips) suddenly take on a poignancy that allows us to connect these outliers to elements in our lives that we do understand, stripping them of their unfamiliarity and giving us comfort. All writing is like this in a way, at least to me. And lately, who else is there?
Kevin Hinman is a Southern California writer and rapper who realized early on that a lifelong fascination with storytelling meant you never had to outgrow your invisible friends. His fiction and features have appeared in 'Newtown Literary,' 'blink-ink,' and 'Mojo.' His hip-hop album Grown Ups Are Talking was released in 2015.
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